A Far-Eastern Valentine

Love. Oh, my gosh! Nothing less and nothing more. One of the most stunning and mysterious feelings in the world. No one feels the same thing, no one knows what the other feels, no one even feels exactly the same thing twice. It’s not a walk in the park! Millions of words have been said before. Millions of wise men have tried to understand it. What more could I say?

Anyway, talking about love can be a wonderful thing, and undoubtedly it is in a low voice, very close to your partner. On the other hand, when we talk louder, sharing something so intimate with the whole society, it seems like we are changing its meaning, losing something. Then what the eff is love? Probably just a feeling that does not admit any definition or explanation. Try to catch it with our scientific and logical mind and just see how it disappears among the crazy hormones, the complicated, empty words and mathematical formulas. So please, hold on, preserve it. Don’t spoil it by analysing. Just enjoy. 

Actually, there are too many kinds of love, no matter which one we are talking about. Once we admit that no explanation is possible, the question is how we celebrate it, the way we choose to show what we feel. Here’s the deal. In a private way, with our partner, everybody knows what to do (more or less, better or worse). And everybody also knows that nowadays department stores have turned love into another reason to consume, nearly obligatory on Valentine’s Day. Let’s talk about this. Somehow, modern times have changed the original meaning of this word, at least here, in Western society. 

But what happens on Valentine’s Day in a distant country with great traditions and ancient culture like Japan? Japan’s culture is very different from ours; it’s a culture very respectful of its traditions and values. Is there a Far-Eastern Valentine? Well, of course, they also celebrate their own “barentain dei”. Women take the first step by presenting two kinds of chocolate gifts to men. The first, called honmei choco, is given to their boyfriends, husbands or lovers, and it means “you are the man that I love”. This chocolate may be homemade, which is even more appreciated. The second, called giri choco, is a gift of obligation, an expression of courtesy to co-workers, friends and other important men in their lives, without any romantic feelings attached.

One month after “barentain dei”, on March 14, Japan celebrates White Day,  Japan’s answer to Valentine’s Day, when men pay back the women who gave them chocolate. Therefore, on White Day men give gifts as an expression of gratitude. The most common gifts are cookies, white chocolate, jewellery, white lingerie and marshmallows. Sanbai gaeshi is a term which means “triple the return”. In other words, it means that the return gift should be three times the cost of the previous Valentine’s gift.

And what is the origin of this curious celebration? Ancient times, maybe? Well, not exactly. Valentine's Day was first celebrated in 1958, promoted by the chocolate company Morozoff. And White Day, celebrated since 1978, was created by the candy industry, which decided that a new holiday was the best way to improve sales. Poetry? There is none of that here.

If we want to get as close as possible to those fond memories, to love itself, here is a suggestion: just turn off the lights and listen to Chet Baker singing “My Funny Valentine”; or even better, read the next post!

In a nutshell, to be practical, if some “barentain dei” you are in Japan and a Japanese woman gives you some homemade chocolate, watch out! You will have to choose: get out of Japan before one month to avoid an awkward situation or stay forever. It’s up to you.

Van Trung